Apparently I had copious amounts of free time as a grad student. Not only did I regularly play sports, watch Lost and hang out with friends, I somehow had enough non-study time to create a faux-newsletter called the Daily Periodical. I found the truth periodically on a daily basis, that's what I did. I discussed friends, non-friends, current events, campus happenings, and generally anything and everything. I'm sure someone somewhere laughed once when reading it... if you're out there, please give me a call and I'll buy you a beer.
Here are just a few examples of the material with which I have to work:
1. Friend of roommate - travels to Africa for Peace Corps, only to realize that PC is unorganized (gasp), unfulfilling (shocking), and that she is unable to "do it like they do on the Discovery Channel" at all for the next 2+ years. (Editor's Note - She returned after 1.5 months)
2. Girlfriend - Is she speaking English? I'm sorry, I don't speak Lauren
3. Roommate A - Personal trainer or deadbeat... America votes
4. Roommate B - 'The joys of living in a waspy bubble,' 'GW is the real world,' 'How my relationship with a crazy Latino man (aka MY Mexican), gave me street cred,' etc. The list of headlines/articles here is endless
5. Roommate of Girlfriend - No, Jeb, you can't wear a shiny shirt on top of green khakis with a grey billiards vest... Also, when does a laugh officially become a cackle?
6. Ex-coworker/Foreign Service Officer - Alabama's homosexual representative to the Foreign Service whom I met in Paraguay - need I say more?
7. Neighbor - The embodiment of "don't ask don't tell," this neighbor will plant you a garden if you just listen to the hot s*x he had with a "first-timer" the previous night... totally not worth it
8. Friend of roommate - Possible headlines include: 'Elan to celebrate discovery of new type of supply curve;' or 'Elan calls in sick, unable to avoid Jeopardy marathon'
9. Brother/Sister-in-law - Martha Stewart/Andy Griffith watch out, here come Kenan and Carly!
The list goes on and on... Stay tuned.